Nigerian relationship advice: He missed her dad’s burial for work. She ended it. Was it wrong? This raw story shows how grief and miscommunication can break what could have been.
Chai. This one still dey pepper my eyes as I dey write am. My own story. I meet this fine woman for my estate for 2022. We just dey see each other for road, exchange numbers, nothing serious. Life happen. Then for May this year, I see her number for one old iCloud account. I just call. She pick, but she no remember me well—we never really hang out, she just dey see me for road before she move from the estate.
We arrange to meet. The first hangout? E sweet. We talk talk talk. Since then, we dey call every day. Second hangout, she ask me the question wey I don already expect: “What do you really want from this?” I tell her straight: “My playing days don finish. I need a friend, a partner, somebody wey I fit build with.” She talk say she no give relationship chance since her last one end two years ago. She say she dey protect herself because she no want “too much history with men.” I understand. Nigerian relationship advice
Nigerian relationship advice
Things dey cool. We dey talk every day. But I notice something: she fit ask me ten questions for one call, but when I ask her own, she go dey like “Ehn, it’s complicated” or just change topic. I tell her wetin I do for work and where I work, but she go only tell me her job title—no company name, no location. I no vex. I just dey observe.
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Then, the call wey change everything. One evening, she call dey cry. Her papa don die. I no sabi how to handle grief like that. Nobody close to me don die before wey I go console person. I just talk: “May his soul rest in peace.” I promise say I go call her tomorrow. I hang up.
Work stress catch me. I no call until the third day. When I call, she no dey happy. She open up: “You no even try understand. The night I tell you, you just end the call like that. I need somebody to talk to. Then three days? No check?”
I dey apologize. I tell her no be intentional—I just no know wetin to talk, I no want repeat words or dey ramble wey no go comfort her. We settle. I agree say I go attend the wake-keep and burial for her village. At first, she no want make I stress—village far. But I insist. I even dey look forward to am; na my first burial ceremony for life. Nigerian relationship advice
God be my witness, I ready. But Wednesday evening, 5 PM, one client call. Their system down, project dey urgent. Normally, I fit fix am remote, but travelling from Abuja to unfamiliar village where network no sure? Risk I no fit take. I pick my phone, my hand dey shake, I tell her I no fit come as planned. Nigerian relationship advice
For phone, she cut me off. “I already know say you no dey come,” she talk. “If you truly plan to come, you for don dey check me since morning. Since I no hear from you, I don conclude say you decide not to show.” Then she drop the bomb: “I no think this relationship go work. Just forget am and move on.” I ask, “Just like that?” She say yes. I wish her well, hang up.
Twenty minutes later, I send her account details. I transfer some cash. Why I do am? I no sabi. But e calm my temper down. Maybe na my own way of saying sorry without words. Nigerian relationship advice
Since then, I dey call. I dey text. No reply. I see say she call me twice for Saturday, but I no near my phone. I dey call twice daily, drop messages—nothing. Yesterday, luck shine. She pick. I ask if she don return from village. She say she still dey there. I ask if she fit talk. She say yes. But as I start explain, no be 30 seconds, line cut. I call back—phone off. Call again for evening—no answer.
I like this woman. I want her know say no be intentional. But honestly? I dey exhausted. I dey tired. I no know if I dey fight for something wey don finish, or if I just dey wound my own self. Nigerian relationship advice
This one dey pain my chest. Have you ever lose something good because of one misunderstanding wey you no fit fix? What would you don do different? Or was she right to end am? Abeg, talk to me for comment. Make we reason together. And if this story touch you, share am—somebody dey there wey dey go through similar thing and need know say they no dey alone.
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