Emotional blackmail is ugly and there are not many ways it can result in a healthy relationship. It looks like, “I’ll kill myself if you leave.”
Or, it can also look like, “I would die without you.” It can be dramatic or casual. It’s basically a tactic that uses fear, guilt, and shame to keep you under your partner’s control. And do you really want to be in a relationship where you’re only there because someone threatened to kill themselves?
Don’t fall for it. It’s almost always a manipulation and never a real threat of suicide or self harm. But just to be on the safe side, say, “If you’re feeling suicidal, I’ll call the police or an ambulance for help, but I’m not going to deal with it.” It sounds harsh, but it’s often the best (and only) thing you can do.
6. Playing the victim
Let me paint a scenario for you. You and your partner get into a fight. no matter who was in the wrong, what was said, or what actually went down, your partner is just heartbroken and can’t believe you’d hurt them like that.
deep guys
Even if your partner is actually the one who did something wrong, and no matter how you reacted. You’re always apologizing Your partner is always hurt and helpless and in need of attention and extra love. It’s a way to make you feel like you’re a bad, unworthy partner and for them to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.
What to do
Apologize for what you feel you need to apologize for. Don’t give in to your partner’s constant attempts to shame you into falling on your sword. Say things like, “I am really sorry I got upset and raised my voice. That was uncalled for. but I won’t apologize for being upset about what you did. Here’s how that made me feel.”
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