If you take your energies and focus them in the right way, you can build something real and honest and unbreakable. It’s a goal you both need to be behind one hundred percent, obviously, but it’s totally doable.
1. Being Who Your Partner Wants You To Be
If your partner wants you to be the perfect spouse, to be a certain weight, to look a certain way, to have a certain job, to clean, to raise the children, or to build a certain image, they’re not giving you the freedom to be yourself.
You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t want you to be anything other than the best version of yourself. Living your life in service to this idea of who others want you to be will bite you in the ass one day, when you wake up and realize half your life is gone and you don’t recognize yourself and you haven’t done the things you dreamed of.
2. Keeping Things Bottled Up
A lot of people (of all genders, but especially women) are raised with an idea that being angry is bad manners. That disagreeing is rude. That it’s somehow spiritually evolved to let everything fall away like water off a duck’s back.
Then those people, who have a lifetime of resentments and things they’ve wanted to say for years, suddenly explode over something very tiny. Or worse, they wake up and realize they hate their partners for no obvious reason.
It’s because they’re poisoned with everything they didn’t say. You can find ways to communicate things you don’t like, things that make you mad, or ways your partner is annoying you without being mean. It’s part of creating healthy boundaries.
3. Not Setting Boundaries